Ethics: Tongue (Part 2)

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

We are social creatures.  We like to talk.  The Bible warns, “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).  We must learn to control our tongues (James 1:26).  The tongue is a wonderful tool, but we need to use it responsibly, “would that we all felt as keen a sense of responsibility for the use of our tongues as the policeman does for the use of his gun or the physician for use of his powerful medications!” [Rubel Shelly, What Christian Living is All About (Studies in James), p. 51].

The tongue can be used for good or bad.  “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).  Someone has written, “A careless word may kindle strife / A cruel word my wreck a life / A bitter word may hate instill / A brutal word may smite and kill… but… A gracious word may smooth the way / A joyous word may lessen stress / A loving word may heal and bless.”

Let’s continue our study of the tongue…

Flattery

We’re warned, “do not associate with one who flatters with his lips” (Proverbs 20:19).  A flatterer is not sincere.  Such a one uses praise to seduce (Proverbs 2:16; 7:5) or gain (Daniel 11:21, 32, 34; Jude 16), or to set a trap (Proverbs 26:28; 29:5).

Our words should be genuine.  Our lives should be “without hypocrisy” (Romans 12:9).  We are to possess “sincere (unfeigned – KJV) love of the brethren” (1 Peter 1:22).

Rashness

Many rashly respond, speaking without much thought.  The Bible speaks of this when it says, “Do you see a man hasty in his words?  There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 29:20); Again, “He who answers a matter before he hears it.  It is folly and shame to him” (Proverbs 18:13).

We need to: (1) listen (Proverbs 18:13).  May we be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James. 1:19).  “Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue, to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak” (Socrates).  (2) be careful when angry.  “Anger is just one letter short of danger.”  When angry, we should be cautious and not allow our anger to lead us into sin (Ephesians4:26).  Thomas Jefferson wisely said, “When angry count to ten before you speak; if very angry a hundred.”  (3) watch your tone (Proverbs 15:1; Colossians 4:6).

Cussing

A woman, who was a bit, “rough around the edges” once asked me over lunch where in the Bible cussing was ever condemned.  In her mind, it wasn’t condemned in the Bible.

However, we should consider the following points: (1) Our words are to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31; 6:20).  (2) We are to rid ourselves of “filthy language” (Colossians 3:8 NKJV cf. Eph. 5:4), “obscene language” (Colossians 3:8, McCord) and “coarse jesting” (Ephesians 5:4 NKJV), “crude joking” (Ephesians 5:4 ESV).  (3) Brother Marion Fox told me that many of the things which are of a shocking nature when said are not technically sinful in and of themselves; but should be avoided because of their being offensive in our culture, a hindrance to one’s influence, and because they simply do not edify.  “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6).

Bragging

It seems to be the American way; just think Mohammad Ali and his “I am the greatest.”

Such bragging is provocative.  It is self-exalting.  It is contrary to the proverb, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).  We’re to be clothed with humility (1 Peter 5:5).

Blasphemy

We’re taught not to blaspheme (1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 3:2).  What does it mean to blaspheme?  The word literally means hurtful speech.  “It appears that the law of blasphemy, as it was understood among the Jews extended not only to the offense of impiously using the name of the Supreme Being, but to every usurpation of his authority, or arrogation by a created being of the honor and power belonging to Him alone” (Simon Greenleaf, The Testimony of the Evangelists, p. 64).  This appears to be correct (Matthew 9:2-3; Luke 5:20-21; John 10:31-33; Matthew 26:63-66 cf. Isaiah 19:1).

Let us remember to (1) give credit to Him [ these did…(a) Joseph (Genesis 41:15-16); (b) Saul (1 Samuel 11:12-13); (c) Samuel (1 Samuel 12:16-18); (d) David (1 Samuel 17:32-37); (e) Elijah (I Kings 17:36-38); (f) Elisha (2 Kings 2:14; 4:43); (g) Daniel (Daniel 2:27-28); (h) Peter (Acts 10:24-26); (i) Paul and Barnabas (Acts 14:8-18; 1 Corinthians 15:10) – cf these did not… (a) Moses (Numbers 20:12); (b) Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4:28-32); (c) rich fool (Luke 12:13-21); (d) boastful of James (James 4:13-17)].  (2) hallow His name (Matt. 6:9).  Many today casually and without respect use His name.  They do this by directly using His name, “O my God!”  “Jesus!” etc.  They do this by euphemisms for God: gosh, golly, gad, egad, good grief.  They do this by euphemism for Jesus: gee, gee whiz, jeepers, jiminy Christmas / cricket.  True many don’t use these words meaning to be disrespectful.  They may not know what they mean.  However, words do have meaning.  Let us sanctify Him and honor Him.

Lying

Lying has been going on since the garden (John 8:44).  The Psalmist said, by hyperbole, of man, “They go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).   Dr. Frank Luntz has written, “As the Josephson Institute, which publishes a report on high school student ethics puts it, ‘There’s a hole in our moral ozone and it’s getting bigger’… stealing: 35% of boys and 26% of girls admitted stealing from a store last year… lying: more than 80% acknowledge they lied to a parent about something significant… cheating: two-thirds admitted cheating on a test” (What Americans Really Want… Really, p. 189).  Moreover, it is not just teens.  According to Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dunbar, data reveals that 5% of Chicago Public School teachers cheated on the standardized test to boost their classroom scores. There were incentives. (Freakanomics, p. 22-36).

Things to remember: (1) God wants us to be honest (Proverbs 6:16-19; Ephesians 4:25; Colossians 3:9; Revelation 21:8; 21:27; 22:15).  We’re told, “Put away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor…” (Ephesians 4:25) (2) When we lie, God knows (Psalm 139:1-4; Ecclesiastes 12:14; Acts 5:1-ff; Romans 2:16).  Lying is man acting cowardly toward man, and illogically “brave” toward God.  (3) “Always tell the truth – that way you don’t have to remember what you’ve said” (Mark Twain).

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ETHICS: TONGUE (Part I)

Posted on March 16, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

John Locke has written, “God having designed men for a social creature … furnished him also with language … Man therefore had by nature his organs so fashioned, as to be fit to frame articulate sounds … It was further necessary, that he should be able to use these sounds, as signs of internal conceptions, and to make them stand as marks for ideas within his own mind, whereby they might be made known to others, and the thoughts of men’s minds be conveyed from one to another” (An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, Book Three, Chapter One). Man has been speaking since the first day of his appearance on earth (Gen. 2:18-22). Man has been writing since before the time of Moses (Exodus 17:14; 24:4, etc.), even as early as the time of Job (Job 13:20; 19:23; 31:35). What a gift! God has given man the ability to communicate.

What do we communicate? How do we use the gift that God has provided? Do our words nourish (Proverbs 12:18b; 16:24), or harm Proverbs 12:18a; Psalm 64:3)? Do our words edify (Ephesians 4:29), or discourage (Deuteronomy 1:28; Col 3:21)?

CYBER BULLIES

October 2006 (Dardenne Prairie, Missouri): Megan Meire’s body is found by her mother. She committed suicide by hanging. She was only thirteen years old. The story illustrates the power of words. Lori Drew (the mother of one of Megan’s former friends), with the help of one of her teenage employees, created a bogus MySpace account, and passed as a sixteen-year-old boy named “Josh Evans”. “Josh” and Megan became friends on MySpace. Lori’s intentions seem to have been to spy on Megan, and find out what, if anything, Megan was saying about Lori’s daughter. In time, “Josh” became hurtful and cruel. This cruelty was enough to push Megan “over the edge.”

October 2003 (Essex Junction, Vermont): Ryan Halligan committed suicide. He was only thirteen. Ryan was very bright; this made him an early target for bullying. He had been bullied for years. During the summer of 2003, a popular girl pretended to be his girl friend on AOL IM. When his eighth grade year started that fall, Ryan approached her. She told him in front of all that it was a joke, and that he was a loser. His father wrote “I don’t blame Ryan’s suicide on one single person or one single event … Ryan was suffering from depression … We have no doubt that bullying and cyber bullying were environmental factors that triggered Ryan’s depression. In final analysis, we feel strongly that Ryan’s middle school was a toxic environment …” (ryanpatrickhallingan.org).

January 2010 (South Handley Massachusetts): Phoebe Prince committed suicide by hanging. Her twelve-year-old sister found her. Phoebe was a fifteen-year-old freshman. Her family had emigrated from Ireland, just a year before. She became the enemy of a group of nine girls due to their jealousy over her brief relationship with two boys. She was physically and verbally bullied. She was harassed on Facebook, and by text messages. After her suicide, one of the bullies posted on her Facebook wall “accomplished”.

March 2010 (West Islip, New York): Alexie (aka Lexi) Skye Pilkington committed suicide. She was seventeen years old. She was a star player on the high school’s soccer team. She had a scholarship to play for Dowling College. Why did she take her life? Cyber bullying is being investigated as a possible cause.

Meditate on this: (1) “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV). (2) “Therefore, whatever you want man to do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). (3) Do not say “I will do to him just as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work” (Proverbs 24:29).

Discourage or Motivate

Some seem to always have a defeatist attitude. They say: “It can’t be done”; “It won’t work” and other such things. Those who so speak are usually right. Their words are self-fulfilling prophecies. Their negative attitude is contagious, and a killer of ambition. Moses wrote, “our brethren have discouraged our hearts” (Deuteronomy 1:28).

Let’s use our words to encourage. “Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). Let us say things that prompt others to greatness, Thing like – “The suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed” (Romans 8:18) … “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). “Imitate me; just as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1) … “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Gossip

The word “gossip” is not found in the King James Version. However, the idea is expressed by the term “whisperer” (Proverbs 16:28) and “talebearer” (Proverbs 26:20).

Here are some things to remember: (1) Before speaking we should ask “is this true?” We need to verify what we speak. The children of Israel almost went to war over a misunderstanding (Joshua 22:10-12 cf 22:21-30). Eli had made a wrongful assumption about Hannah (1 Sam 1:12-15). Brother Goebel Music has suggested many problems are the results of seven “misses”: (a) mis-information; (b) mis-quotation; (c) mis-representation; (d) mis-interpretation; (e) mis-construction; (f) mis-conception; (g) mis-understanding (Music, Book of James Class Study Notes, chapter 3, p. 4). We need to be good listeners, listening before speaking (Proverbs 18:13; James 1:19). (2) Never accept rumors without adequate evidence [1 Timothy 5:19-22 (Note: evidence can serve as a ‘witness’ – John 5:31-36; 2 Peter 1:18-19; 1 John 5:9)]. (3) Before speaking ask “Does this need to be said?” Not everything needs to be repeated {Proverbs 11:13; 12:23; 1 Corinthians 13:7a [Note: “bears” means “to cover to keep confidential” (BAG); “to cover, to protect by covering” (Thayer)]}. Someone said, “Think all you speak, but speak not all you think. Thoughts are your own; your words are so no more.” Someone said “confine your tongue, lest it confine you.” (4) Before speaking, ask, “Why am I saying this?” Some evidently think themselves important by tattling on others. We should remember that one does not become a saint by another’s sins (Galatians 6:4-5). Moreover, we should understand — There is a great difference between saying something in order to get help in dealing with a problem (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:11), and saying something to harm another. Our words should nourish and edify (Proverbs 12:18; 16:24; Ephesians 4:29). (5) When speaking, be careful with the tone (Proverbs 15:1; Colossians 4:6). Someone said, “If wisdom’s ways you seek, five things observe with care: of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when, and where.” Someone said, ” There are three things that ought to be considered before some things are spoken – the manner, the place, and the time.” (6) It takes two to gossip. Refuse to listen to such. Someone has said, “Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.” Someone said, “He that is wont to slander absent men, may never at this table sit again.” Someone said, “The fellow who thinks by the inch, and talks by the yard, ought to be removed by the foot.”

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Ethics: Modesty

Posted on March 14, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

As Christians, we should want to dress and conduct ourselves in a manner which professes godliness (1 Timothy 2:10).  We should want to present ourselves in a manner which glorifies God (Matthew 5:16; 1 Corinthians 6:20; 10:31).   We should not want to do anything which hinders the cause of Christ.

Dress, Dance:

How we dress conveys a message (cf. Genesis 38:14-15).  This is recognized by many.  Mary Quant, the mother of the mini skirt said: “Mini clothes are symbolic of those girls who do not want to wait until dark to seduce a man to bed” (McCall’s 1970, quote in Biblical Ethics, editor Terry Hightower, p. 520).  Theodore Reik stated, “the other day the owner of one of our elegant dress stores stated that a dress is successful when it awakens in a man who looks at the woman the wish to take it off, to undress her” (quoted in Morals – From God or Man, Editor David Brown, p. 357).  Billy Bland has written, “Most women know the effects of immodest apparel.  When a Portuguese ship was taken over by pirates, the women ceased to wear their shorts, halter tops, etc.,  fearing what the pirates would do to them” (ibid, p. 358).  Marilyn Morris has advised teenage girls, “Boys are turned on by sight; girls are turned on by touch.  It takes very little to make a boy think you want to have sex.  When a girl walks in a room with short shorts and a tight top on, she can drive guys crazy.  This is not necessarily a compliment.  The fact is any girl can turn any guy on (or at least many girls can turn on many guys, B.H.).  If you wear seductive clothing, you are either teasing your boyfriend, which is very cruel, or giving him an open invitation to get physical.  Neither of these are going to help you succeed at sexual abstinence (ABC’s of the Birds and Bees, p. 294).

We certainly don’t wish to leave the impression that it is only females who should be modest in dress.  Males should as well (cf. Exodus 20:26; 28:41-43).  God clothed not just Eve, but also Adam (Genesis 3:21).

We should also be concerned with the way we move.  World Magazine (May, 19, 2001) stated, “This year’s prom season is causing turmoil at schools across America: Dancing has become so sexually explicit that some officials call it sex with clothes on and many want it stopped” (Alan Webster’s tract: You’re not going to the Prom?).  Dance may be getting more explicit in its sexual nature, but the sexual nature has been a part of modern dance for a long time.  Just think of the flappers of the 1920’s.

Furthermore, think about the dress and movements of many cheer teams.  In the year 2000, the Los Angeles Avengers (an arena football team) ran an ad campaign to promote their opening game.  Their billboard ads read, “On April 9th, six beautiful women will show you their panties” (source: Foxnews.com).

Guidelines

1.  Keep in mind that from the earliest of times, God has shown concern over dress.  Adam and Eve made “aprons” out of Fig leaves (Genesis 3:7).  The term refers to a belt or loincloth (Strong’s, Wayne Jackson, Background Studies, p. 43).  God made them “coats” of skins (Genesis 3:21), a more substantial covering.

2.  God’s concern for modesty is seen in the instruction for the Priests of old (Exodus 20:26; 28:41-43).  Linen breeches were to be worn under their robes.  This covered their hips and thighs (Dr. Kin Chambliss, Law of Moses, p. 76).

3.  Naked and nudity were not the same under the Old Testament.  Adam and Eve were naked while wearing a loincloth (Genesis 3:10).  Exposure of the thigh was considered nakedness (Exodus 20:26 cf. 28:41-43).  Wearing only under garments was to be naked (John 21:7).  Moreover, it was considered shameful to expose the buttocks (2 Samuel 10:4; 1 Chronicles 19:4; Isaiah 20:4).

4.  I should dress and conduct myself with “shamefacedness” (1 Timothy 2:9 KJV).  Other versions read: “Modesty” (NASB); “with propriety” (NKJV); “with modesty” (ESV).  The word means: “Having regards to others… always restrains a good man from an unworthy act” (Vines); “Having regards to others… precedes and prevents the shameful act” (Thayer).  I should not dress or conduct myself in such a way that is likely to stir up sinful desires or emotions (like envy, impure thoughts, etc).

5.  I should dress and conduct myself with “sobriety” (1 Timothy 2:9 KJV).  Other versions read “discreetly” (NASB); “moderation” (NKJV), “self-control” (ESV).  The word refers to “that habitual inner self-government, with its constant reign on all the passions and desires, which would hinder the temptation to these from arising” (Vines); “curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-control, temperate” (Thayer).  I should dress in such a way as to prevent attracting temptation.

6.  I should dress and conduct myself in “modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9 KJV).  Other versions read “proper clothing” (NASB); “respectable apparel” (ESV).  In context, one is so dressed when he is dressed according to our points 4 and 5.

7.  It is not inherently wrong to dress nicely, and to give attention to appearance (cf. Ruth 3:1-3; Proverbs 31:21-22; Matthew 6:29).  However, I should remember what true beauty is.  I should give more attention to how I am clothed spiritually, than physically [Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4 (Note: 1 Peter 3:3-4 is a relative negation.  This is obvious for the literal reading would forbid women wearing clothing.  The term “fine” italicized in the NKJV is not a part of the original text.  Other examples of relative negation: John 6:27; Matt. 6:19-20; Mark 9:37; 1 Cor. 1:17)].

8.  I should not conduct myself with “lasciviousness” (Galatians 5:19 KJV).  Other versions read, “sensuality” (NASB/ESV); “lewdness” (NKJV).  This word is defined as “filthy words, indecent bodily movements, unchaste handling of males and females, etc.” (Thayer).  Maurice Lusk III said, “The word has to do with… activities or conduct that tends to excite lustful desires” (Ethics, p. 457).

9.  I should seek to do what edifies and makes for peace (Romans 14:19).  I should avoid things which provoke unnecessary controversy.  I should conform with cultural standards of modesty so long as such does not involve sin, or hinder the cause of Christ (cf. 1 Corinthians 9:19-23; 11:2-16).  Example: if one was in a part of the world where the wearing of knee length shorts was considered immodest, one should not bring unnecessary controversy by openly wearing such.

10.  How one dresses can bring temptation (cf. Genesis 38:14-15; 2 Samuel 11).

Objections

1.  Much of modesty is cultural.

I do not disagree.  The veil once signified prostitution (Genesis 38:15).  The meaning changed later in history (1 Corinthians 11).  Long hair on men was once acceptable (2 Samuel 14:25-26; Song of Solomon 5:2; 5:11; Ezekiel 8:3; cf. Numbers 6:1-21; Judges 13:3-5; 16:13-15).  Later it wasn’t (1 Corinthians 11:14).

However, there are principles which still need to be followed.  Review points 4, 5, 6, and 9 under guidelines.

2.  Some would lust even if dressed in a burlap bag.

This no doubt is true.  However, caution should be exercised to avoid tempting those who are good men (see guidelines, point 4).

3.  Sometimes, the Bible mentions dance in a neutral or approved of way (Exodus 15:20; Judges 11:34; 1 Samuel 18:6-7; 21:11-12; 2 Samuel 6:14; Psalms 30:11; 149:3; 150:4; Jeremiah 31:13; Lamentations 5:16; Luke 7:32; 15:25).

No disagreement here.  Any rhythmic movement could be classified as dance. However, nothing in scripture sanctions movements which tend to excite carnal lust.  Due to the nature of what is generally referred to as “dance” today, it is wise to avoid it.

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Ethics: Mind

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

The Christian is in a spiritual warfare (2 Corinthians 10:3-ff; Ephesians 6:10-ff; 1 Peter 2:11, etc.).  This war involves the mind (Romans 8:7; Ephesians 2:3, 4:17, 23; Colossians 1:21).  A Christian should think differently, than this sinful world (Romans 12:2; Ephesians 4:17, 23).  A Christian should strive to bring “every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).  A Christian’s mind should be focused on things above, and not just things of this earth (Colossians 3:1-2).

Ideas, Images, Lyrics

The world is constantly preaching to us.  It does so through a variety of channels.  In this study, we’ll narrow our focus to the entertainment industry.

Writers of movies, television programs and ads, and books are clever.  They know how to make the sinful appear appealing.  They know how to make one sympathetic to a criminal (e.g., John Q, Midnight Express).  They know how to make premarital cohabitation, and fornication to appear normal or glorious (e.g., Titanic, Ghost, Ladder 49).  They know how to make adultery appear beautiful (e.g. The Bridges of Madison County).  Even, homosexuality is viewed as special and loving (one episode of Cold Case).  Television ads make alcohol appear desirous.  The Bible warns, “Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly; at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper” (Proverbs 23:31-32).

Music writers do the same.  Music is a powerful influence on thought.  This has been known for a very long time.  The Republic by Plato says, “Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul, on which they mightily fasten…”  Rolling Stone magazine commented, “The surest shortcut to memorable videos seems to be a liberal dose of sex, violence, or both” (Gene Burgett, A Christian Look at Contemporary Music, The 6th Annual Shenandoah Lectures, p. 443).

The internet is the media of today.  Ask a young person which they would least like to give up: newspaper, radio, TV, books or phone.  The answer, I assure you, will be the internet.  Communication can occur by internet (this covers the phone).  News, books, music, and video can be accessed by the internet (this covers the newspaper, books, radio and TV).  It is a wonderful tool.  It has made the world much smaller.  It has made access to information much easier.  It also has made it easier to view things one ought not.  According to Family Safe Media, there were 4,200,000 pornographic websites available in 2003, which constitutes 12% of all websites.  Internet porn is a $2.5 billion a year business (www.familysafemedia.com/pornography).  It needs to be understood that one can sin with the eyes (Matt. 5:28).  We should be like Job, who said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes, why then should I look upon a young woman?” (Job 31:1).

We Americans like to be entertained.  There is nothing wrong with rest and relaxation.  However, stewardship of time should be considered (Ephesians 5:16, Colossians 4:5).  We spend an average 153 hours per month watching TV and 68 hours per month online (www.cleancutmedia.com).  That is 5 hours per day of TV and 2 hours per day online.  One study suggests that most know this is too much; 68% feel guilty about watching too much TV and 53% for spending too much time in front of the computer (Frank Luntz, What Americans Really Want, Really…, p. 39).

Guidelines

What is it on which a Christian should spend his time thinking?  Meditate upon the guidelines of Philippians 4:8.

1.  What is true. 

   This means that I should be interested in truth.  God’s word is truth (John 17:17).  I should meditate upon God’s word (Psalm 1:2; 119:15, 23, 48, 78, 97, 99, 148) and upon God (Psalm 63:6; 77:12).  Such will keep us from sin (Psalm 119:11).

I should be careful with what I fill my mind.  I should not want to full my mind with anything which leads me away from God or His word.

2.  What is honest (KJV).

Other translations render this “noble” (NKJV), “honorable” (ASV, NASB, ESV).  The reference is to thoughts and behavior which is respectable, honorable.

I should seek to fill my mind with what prompts respectable thought and behavior.  I should shun that which is contrary to respectable thought and behavior.

What if everyone could see your thoughts?  Remember God can (Psalm 139:2).

3.  What is just.

This word is also translated “right” (NASB).  Thayer indicates the word refers to “observing divine and human laws”.  Wayne Jackson commented “the state of being right according to the divine standard” (Jackson, Book of Philippians, p. 82).

I should fill my mind with that which engenders right thought and behavior.  The issues of life flow from the mind (Proverbs 4:23).

I should think about that which is the just and right thing to do, not just what happens to be momentarily advantageous to me.

4.  What is pure.

The original word has to do with moral purity.  It sometimes is used of sexual purity, translated ‘chaste’ (2 Corinthians 11:2), and at other times it refers to being pure or innocent in a matter (1 Timothy 5:22).

Clearly, this means that I should avoid pornographic images, and lewd messages.  “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8).

5.  What is lovely.

The literal wording is “toward love”.  I should think on things which encourage loving behavior.

Messages which tend to stir up hatred, and strife should be avoided.  Such is contrary to Christ.  “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).

6.  What is of good report (KJV).

The original wording is also rendered “commendable” (ESV).  The wording literally means “good sounding.”

Many dwell upon the negative.  They are overwhelmed by bad news.

Some delight to hear and repeat the latest gossip about evil in another.  They receive and spread bad news.

Some love to hear and repeat stories and jokes about sin.  They delight in evil.

I should fill my thoughts with good things, good people, and good deeds.  I should want to speak good sounding words when possible.

7.  What is of virtue (KJV).

The original word is also translated “excellence” (NASB, ESV).  The word refers to courage or strength.  It refers to moral excellence in the face of trials.

I should think upon things which empower me to do the right thing.  I should think on things which help my moral courage.

8.  What is of praise (KJV).

The original wording is also rendering “worthy of praise” (NASB, ESV), and “praiseworthy (NKJV).

I should identify good things.  I should recognize good in others, things worthy of commendation I should think on such things.

Review this list.  This provides some guidelines to what we focus our minds attention.

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The Veil, Long Hair, and the Red Purse

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

Years ago, Roy Deaver wrote, “If the time ever comes when all impure women of Ft. Worth identify themselves by carrying a red purse on their right arm, I would argue strongly—   in light of 1 Cor. 11:2-16—that it would be a sin for a Christian woman of the area to carry a red purse on her right arm” (Ascertaining Bible Authority, p. 83). I believe that he was correct. A Christian should want to dress and conduct himself as those “professing godliness” (1 Tim. 2:10). A Christian should cautiously guard his influence, and be careful to not send the wrong message. He should desire to be “providing honorable things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men (2 Cor. 8:21).

The Veil

Some have suggested that the covering of 1 Cor. 11:4-5 is long hair (cf. 1 Cor. 11:14-15). This seems very unlikely. Consider: (a) The word in verses 4-5 is katakalupto, while the word in verses 14-15 is peribolaiou. Different original words are used. Why use different words, if the same covering is in view? (b) Being uncovered (katakalupto) is not the same as being “shorn” (keiro – meaning, “to cut short the hair”). Thus to paraphrase who can believe this says, “If she does not have long hair, let her also have her hair cut short”?

I believe that some type of artificial covering is in view. In context, the covering was a sign of subjection (1 Cor. 11:7-10).

The veil still serves as such a sign in some places. J.W. McGarvey remarked, “Thus Chardin, the traveler, says that the women of Persia wear a veil in sign that they are ‘under subjection,’ a fact which Paul also asserts in this chapter” (Thess., Cor., Gal., Rom., p. 110).

Some have wondered if the hat would serve the same purpose today. The word used for the covering literally means “down the head”. I have trouble seeing how this word can be fulfilled with a hat on top of the head. Moreover, I am not certain that the hat is a sign of subjection in our society. It seems more of a fashion item to me. However, to some, it is a conscientious choice (Rom. 14:22-23).

A point worth mentioning is that the veil significance has changed over time. Once it signified prostitution (Gen. 38:14-15). Later, it symbolized subjection. Moreover, this significance was not limited to Christians.

Another point is that it is well-known that in Paul’s day Corinthian prostitutes did not veil the head, and they wore their hair shorn or shaven. “The unveiled face and shaven head was a badge of harlot” (B.B. James, 1st Annual Denton Lectures, p. 356). The I.S.B.E. reads, “In N.T. times, … among both Greeks and Romans, reputable women wore the veil in public and to appear without it was an act of bravado (or worse)” (Vol. 4, p. 3047).

I believe that there are reasons to conclude that the veil was a cultural issue. Christianity did not originate the veil, nor did the Bible. The meaning has changed over time. In Paul’s, day, it signified subjection.

What principles should we learn? (1) Women are to present themselves as being subject to their husbands(1 Cor. 11:7-1o cf Eph. 5:22-23; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet. 3:5-6). (2) They are to avoid dishonoring their husbands (1 Cor. 11:3, 5). (3) Men are to do nothing which dishonors Christ (1 Cor. 11:3, 4). Note: A man wearing a cap or hat today in worship is still viewed as being disrespectful. (4) We should not dress in such a way that identifies us with the rebellious or immoral. Such could harm our influence on others. Such could alienate and turn others off before they hear the message.

Long Hair

Hair is clearly under consideration later in this same chapter (1 Cor. 11:14-15). Long hair meant one thing for a woman, but something different for a man. The point being made is, “Just as you recognize that hair signifies something in society (cf. 1 Cor. 11:5-6), even so does the artificial covering.”

“Nature” is referred to in these verses. This does not refer to biology. This is evident for both men and  women are capable of growing long hair. The term “nature” can refer to “a mode of feeling and acting which by long habit has become natural” (Thayer).

Long hair on men has meant different things at different times, much like the veil. Many Old Testament characters had long hair (Judg. 13:3-5; 16:13-22 cf. Num. 6:1-21; 2 Sam. 14:25-26; Song of Sol. 5:2, 11; Ezek. 8:3). However, in the not too recent past long hair on a man sent a message that one was rebellious. Long hair in certain styles could also suggest effeminacy. Plutarch (c46 – 120 A.D.) wrote of Roman culture, “it is usual that men should poll their heads, and women keep their hair long” (Kevin Moore, we have no such custom: A Critical Analysis of 1 Cor. 11:2-16, p. 12). We do read of women with long hair in the New Testament (Jn. 11:2 cf. Lk. 7:38; 1 Cor. 11:15). Men and women’s hair were different (Rev. 9:8).

What principles should we learn? (1) McGarvey has written, “From this passage, it is plain that it was not intended that Christianity should needlessly vary from the national custom of the day” (Thess, Cor., Gal., Rom. p. 110). (2) We should ask—“What does our appearance say to the world?” (3) Perhaps, it suggests that there should be a clear recognizable distinction between men and women (cf. Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:4-5, 7, 14-15). I have met those who dress and style their hair and act in such a way that I am left confused as to call the person Mr. or Miss. Has this ever happened to you? Men should be men, and women should be women.

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Washing Feet

Posted on March 2, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

“Pugh! I am not touching his feet.”  Such may be the reaction one would get today to the idea of washing another’s feet.

However, the washing of feet is commended in the Bible (Luke 7:36-46; John 13:3-14; 1 Timothy 5:9-10). How should we understand this?

First, we should understand the need. Feet were washed to remove dirt (John 13:10). In that ancient area of the world, people did not wear shoes as we do today. Instead, they commonly wore sandals. The most commonly used form of transportation was walking. The land was dry and dusty. Feet became caked with dirt and grime.

Second, washing feet was a common occurrence. Sometimes one did such for oneself (Genesis 18:3-5; 19:2; Judges 19:21; 2 Samuel 11:8). Sometimes servants performed this task (cf 1 Samuel 25:41). The washing of the feet was a common routine which was done prior to sitting down to eat [(Genesis 18:3-5; Judges 19:21). They typically ate reclined around a low table]. It was also common when welcoming one into his home (Luke 7:36-46).

Third, the washing of the feet is connected with hospitality (Genesis 18:2-5; 19:1-3; Judges 19:21; 1 Samuel 25:41; 2 Samuel 11:8; Luke 7:38, 44-46; 1 Timothy 5:10). It is an act of hospitality, and not an act of worship.

There is reason to conclude that this is cultural. The New Testament does not originate the practice. Instead, it appeals to a common existing practice, an act of hospitality.

However, there are principles which transcend culture. (1) We are to be humble servants. J.W. McGarvey commented, “Jesus did not institute feet-washing; he found it already a familiar custom of the land, and merely used it as a most appropriate way of showing the proper spirit of humble service” (The Fourfold Gospel, p. 650). There was a need. Feet needed to be cleaned. There was action. Jesus girded himself, and went to work (John 13:4-5). We are to be girded with humility (1 Peter 5:5 ASV). None of us should be above washing another’s feet or doing some other dirty job to help another, or show kindness. We are instructed “Through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13).

(2) We are to be a hospitable people. We are to be “Given to hospitality” (Romans 12:13). We are to “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9).

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The Holy Kiss

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

The instruction for brethren to greet one another with a kiss appears five times in The New Testament (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; 1 Peter 5:14). How should we understand this?

Kissing was a common cultural form of greeting. The kiss was generally given on the cheek, forehead, or beard (Zondervan’s Pictorial Dictionary). Such occurred between females (Ruth 1:9), between males (Genesis 27:26-27; 33:4; 45:15; 48:10; 50:1; Exodus 4:27; 18:7; 1 Samuel 20:41; 2 Samuel 14:33; 1 Kings 19:20; Luke 7:45; 15:20; Matthew 26:49), and such occurred between genders (1 Kings 19:20; Lk 7:38). It occurred between relatives (Genesis 27:26-27; 33:4; 45:15), friends (1 Samuel 20:41; 2 Samuel 19:39), and church members (Acts 20:37).

Even today, kissing is a common form of greeting in some countries. Such is very common in southern Europe, eastern Europe, the Mediterranean, the Middle East and Latin America.

There is reason to conclude that this is cultural. The New Testament does not originate the practice. Instead, it appeals to a common existing practice, a common form of greeting.

However, there is a principle that transcends culture. We are to be friendly. Else where, we are told “Greet the friends by name” (3 John 14). Our greetings should be out of genuine love. Peter speaks of “A kiss of love” (1 Peter 5:14). We are to “In sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart” (1 Peter 1:22) “Let love be without hypocrisy” (Romans 12:9).

Moreover, I believe that The New Testament is cautioning the readers concerning their interaction. It seems to be regulating an existing practice. Robin Haley “Paul did not invent the kiss, but tried to regulate the customary use of it as a greeting to keep it from coming carnal” (A commentary on The Book of Romans, p. 271). Dave Miller, “Paul’s purpose was to regulate the well established custom…Paul attempted to create within early Christians a consciousness of the inherent danger of this social greeting form: lust…Any cultural practice that calls for bodily contact carries this built-in hazard. Christians must be privy to that fact” (Article; Kissing and Culture, Firm Foundation, Sept. 1988)

Some seem to have indeed abused the kiss. Clement of Alexandria wrote in the second century, “Love is not proved by a kiss, but by kindly feeling. But there are those that….make churches resound with a kiss, not having love within…for this very thing, the shameless use of a kiss…occasions foul suspicions and evil reports” (Paedagogus, Book 3, chapter 11). Moreover, consider the worlds of Athenagoras in the second century, “If any one kiss a second time because it gives him pleasure [he sins]…Therefore this kiss, or rather the salvation, should be given the greatest care, since, if there be mixed with it the least defilement of thought, it excludes us from eternal life” (Intercession in behalf of Christians).

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Better To Dwell In The Wilderness

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

Numerous are the passages which exalt marriage.  Proverbs 18:22a, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”  Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that a man should be alone…”  Proverbs 3:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above the rubies.”  Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all.”  Proverbs 5:18b, “Rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”

A good marriage can be a wonderful blessing.  In a good marriage the husband and wife help and complement one another.  In a good marriage the husband and wife help one another walk the Christian life and encourage and edify one another toward Heaven.

But not all marriages are like this.  The Bible so warns.  Proverbs 21:9, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”  Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.”  Proverbs 25:24, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”  Proverbs 19:13b, “The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”  Proverbs 27:15: “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

Consider the marriage between Walter Scott and Eliza Sandidge.  This was Walter’s third marriage.  He was married first to Sarah Whitsette from 1823 to 1849, when she died.  He then married Nannie Allen.  This marriage lasted from 1850 to 1854 when she too passed on.  In 1855 he married a widow, Eliza Sandidge.  He would be married to her until his death in 1861.  This was a most unhappy marriage by all accounts.

Before we look at the marriage, understand that Walter Scott was a great preacher, and an important preacher during restoration days.  One man, Darby Phillips, wrote, “Alexander Campbell provided the intellectual direction of the Restoration, but it was Walter Scott who provided the evangelistic fervor.”  Robert Richardson, Campbell’s own biographer wrote, “Among the helpers and fellow laborers of Alexander Campbell the first place must be awarded to Walter Scott.”  William Baxter, Scott’s biographer, wrote comparing Walter Scott and Alexander Campbell, “Campbell never fell below the expectations of the hearers, Scott frequently did; but there were times when he rose to a height of eloquence which the former never equaled.”  Walter Scott probably baptized more souls into Christ than any one of the Restoration pioneers.  In the year 1827 he baptized over 1000 people – in one year alone!  Alexander Campbell wrote following Walter’s death, “Next to my father, he was my most indefatigable fellow laborer… I knew him well… I knew him long… I loved him much.”

In 1855 at the age of 59, Walter married Eliza.  Walter’s new wife was wealthy, but tight with money.  Walter was tender-hearted and often gave away nearly everything he made.  On one occasion, he went to the store for groceries and ended up giving all away before he got back home.  Once, he gave a neighbor one of his cows since he had two and his neighbor had none.  Once, Alexander Campbell gave him a $5 gold coin following a sermon.  That same day, Walter and Alexander met a beggar, and Walter reached into his pocket and gave the man a gold coin.

Needless to say, the way Walter handled money and his wife’s view of money soon brought about much conflict.  Walter and Eliza fought.  “Scott’s third wife… would storm at him and run him out of the house.  Often he spent the night sitting on the doorstep of a neighbor.  Once she ran him off from home.  Several days later he was found walking the streets of Cincinnati in a daze”  (The Search for Ancient Order, vol. 1, page 86).  Walter was very often sad and melancholy.

Maybe the fault was not all her’s.  Maybe he should have been more careful in handling the family’s money.  But how miserable he was.  How miserable the marriage.

Be very choosy in selecting a mate.  Marry someone who will help you to be more spiritually minded, more Christ like, more productive.  Marry someone who will help you get to heaven.

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Aren’t You Special?

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

Have you ever noticed how some political, and even religious leaders have two sets of rules? One set of rules they have for the masses and another set for themselves.

Politics

James Madison wrote in the Federalist Papers that Congress should be under the laws which it makes. He wrote that Congress should “make no laws which will not have its full operation on themselves and their friends, as well as the great mass of society.”

However, our Congressional leaders have routinely exempted themselves from the laws they make, and are imposed on everyone else. In time past they have exempted themselves from the Equal Employment and Opportunities Act, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, national labor laws (particularly concerning overtime pay for employees), There was even a bill introduced which would have exempted Congressional members from Hillary Clinton’s national health care plan (should it have been enacted all those years ago).

Religion: Muhammad

The Qur’an limit’s the number of wives one may have to a maximum of four at any one time. It says, “Marry such women as seems good to you, two, three, four; but if you fear you will not be equitable, then only one” (4:3 from the A.J. Arberry Translation). Muslims admit that this restricts the number of wives to a maximum of four. It is also generally admitted that Muhammad exceeded this number. Robert Morey provides a list, from Muslim scholar Ali Dashti, of the women in Muhammad’s life. The number is twenty-two (16 wives; 2 slaves or concubines; 4 devout Muslim women who ‘gave’ themselves to satisfy the Prophet’s sexual desire – see The Islamic Invasion, p. 85-86). It is estimated that he had as many as nine wives simultaneously (Dave Miller, The Quran Unveiled, p. 53).

The Qur’an prohibits the marriages between certain near-kin, and close relations. It reads, “You shall not marry the women that your fathers married… Forbidden to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of your brothers and sisters, your foster-mothers, your foster-sisters, the mothers of your wives, your step-daughters who are in your charge, born of the wives with whom you have lain… the wives of your own begotten sons. You are forbidden to take in marriage two sisters at one and the same time” (4:20-ff from N.J. Dawood Translation). Yet, special rules existed for the Prophet. “Prophet, we have made lawful to you… the daughters of your paternal and maternal uncles and of your paternal and maternal aunts… any believing woman who gives herself to the Prophet and who the Prophet wishes to take in marriage. This privilege is yours alone, being granted to no other believer” (33:50 from Dawood).

There were other special rules. There were rules about what you spoke to the Prophet about, “Do not engage in familiar talk, for this will annoy the Prophet (33:53-f, Dawood), and how you spoke to the Prophet “do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet… speak softly in the presences of God’s apostle (49:1-ff, Dawood). There were rules about how one relates to the Prophet’s wives. It states, “If you ask his wives for anything, speak to them from behind a curtain… nor shall you ever wed his wives after him, this would be a grave offense in the sight of God (33:53-ff, Dawood).

One of the biggest scandals of Muhammad’s life concerned his adopted son’s wife. Zaid (his adopted son) had married a beautiful young woman named Zaynab of Jahsh. Muhammad desired her, and asked his adopted son to divorce her, and give her to him. The couple refused. Eventually, Zaid and Zaynab were convinced that this was God’s will. The Prophet even had a revelation to justify such, and also to answer any question some might have had over the relationship issue (33:36-38, Dawood).

Another scandal worth mentioning, there was strife within Muhammad’s house between the women. Some of the wives were jealous of a Coptic slave named Mariyah. Muhammad promised to separate from her. Yet, he was later seen by one of his wives, Hafsah, with this woman again. A revelation from God came forth, “Prophet, why do you prohibit that which God has made lawful to you, in seeking to please your wives? God is forgiving and merciful. God has given you absolution from such oaths” (66:1-ff, Dawood). Two of Muhammad’s wives, Hafsah and A’ishah, who had complained are urged to repent (66:4-ff). If they refused, “It may well be that, if he divorce you, his Lord will give him in your place better wives than yourselves” (66:4-ff, Dawood).

Moreover, all wives were to be good wives. But, this is especially true of the wives of the Prophet. It reads of them, “wives of the Prophet! Those of you who commit a proven sin shall be doubly punished… But those of you who obey God and His apostle and do good works shall be doubly rewarded” (33:29-ff, Dawood).

Religion: Joseph Smith

Originally the Mormons rejected polygamy. The Book of Mormon forbade it saying, “there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none” (Jacob 2:27). “Behold David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord (Jacob 2:24). “Riplakish did not do that which was right in the sight of the Lord, for he did have many wives and concubines…” (Ether 10:5). This Book of Mormon was printed in the year 1830. Early on, the Doctrine and Covenants seemed to teach the same, saying in the year 1835, “we believe that one man should have one wife; and one woman but one husband, except in the case of death, when either is at liberty to remarry again” (101:4).

The teaching changed. In 1843 added to the Doctrine and Covenants was these words, “God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham to wife. And why did she do it? Because this was the law…” (132:34). In fact, all of Doctrine and Covenants 132 is in defense of Polygamy. In the year 1876 the Doctrine and Covenants had removed from it 101:4 mentioned in the previous paragraph.

When polygamy began to be practiced by Joseph Smith is a matter of uncertainty. We know that there were accusations that Joseph Smith loved one Fannie Alger (a neighbor’s daughter that lived with the Smith’s for a while), and even accusations of adultery between them as early as 1837. Benjamin F. Johnson (a friend of Smith’s) said, “Without doubt in my mind, Fannie Alger was, at Kirkland (Ohio – B.H.), the prophet’s first plural wife, in which by the right of his calling, he was justified of the Lord” (Quoted in the 2001 Spring Bible Institute Lectureship, p. 384; original quote from Jerald and Sandra Tanner, Mormonism – Shadow or Reality, p. 202). Whatever the uncertainty of time, it is certain that polygamy was being practiced by 1843 when Doctrine and Covenants section 132 was added, just a year before Smith’s death.

It is also clear why it was added. Smith’s first wife, Emma, was unconvinced by her husband that polygamy was okay. Smith’s ‘revelation’ was to persuade Emma. It said, “Let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, receive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph” (132:52). Note it did not work both ways “I command mine handmaid Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph and to none else” (132:54).

It is true that Smith’s new ‘revelation’ wasn’t just for himself, but for all. But, the revelation did come at a very convenient time, didn’t it? Note: It is thought that Joseph Smith had at least 44 wives and that Brigham Young had at least 17 (Spring Bible lectures, p. 525, 556).

Another situation arose on August 8, 1842 in Nauvoo, Illinois. Sidney Rigdon (apostate member of the church of Christ, and helper in starting the L.D.S. church and later the Church of Jesus Christ – “Bickertonites”, a splinter group located mostly in Pennsylvania that rejected Brigham Young’s leadership and polygamy) had a daughter Nancy Rigdon. Smith called for her and took her in a room and locked the door. He supposedly stated that he had affections for her for some years. He made advances on her and told her that it was okay for he had received a revelation on the subject. He then supposedly told her that if she had scruples of conscience that he would marry her privately and secretly. She threatened to raise the neighbors if he did not unlock the door and let her out. Sidney Rigdon then supposedly confronted Smith who responded that he did what he did to “ascertain whether she was virtuous or not” Sidney Rigdon never trusted him again. (SBL p. 545-546, referencing F. Mark McKeirnan, Sidney Rigdon The Voice of One Crying in the Wilderness, p. 116). I cannot say with certainty if this is accurate or not. All we have is Nancy and Sidney’s testimony.

A Comparison

Do you ever find Moses, Jesus, Peter or Paul ever making special rules and exemptions for themselves? I don’t.

Do you ever find Moses, Jesus, Peter, or Paul receiving convenient revelation to defend something they want to practice? I don’t.

I do find God requiring Moses live by the circumcision law (Exodus 4:24-26). Moses clearly was not exempted from anything. The rules for all was also the rules for him.

Jesus lived under the law (Galatians 4:4). He never expected any to do what He, Himself, was unwilling to do (Read Matthew 17:24-27; 20:25-28; John 13:14-15, 34-35; 2 Corinthians 8:9; Phil. 2:1-8; Colossians 3:13; Hebrews 12:2-4; 1 Peter 2:18-25; 3:14-18; 4:12-16; 1 John 3:16-18;1 John 4:11; 1 John 4:19).

This lack of double-standards speaks to the integrity of the Bible.

A Challenge

May we always keep before our minds the fact that: what I preach and teach to others (children, church, world) equally applies to me. There are no special rules of exemptions. Romans 2:21 asks, “Thou therefore which teaches another, teachest thou not thyself…”

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Soul Mates

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

You’ve heard the term “soul mates.” What is the meaning of this term? Many people use this term to refer to a couple intended by God to be together, created one for another. The idea is that there is only one person out there with whom you were designed to be.

Is this thinking Biblical? I do read that Eve was made for Adam (Genesis 2:18-ff). This is the only example of a man and woman created one for another, that I read of in the Bible. I don’t deny that God’s providence can bring certain ones together. However, the general teachings of the Bible present a different view when compared with this “soul mate” concept. The unmarried daughters of Zelophehad were at liberty to “marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father…” (Numbers 36:6). Widows are told that, “She is at liberty to marry to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinth 7:39). Then, Paul goes on to say, “But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment…” (1 Corinth 7:40), that is if she chooses to remain unmarried such is fine, and in fact, may be better due to the present distress (1 Corinth 7:26). I do read that man and woman have a choice to marry or not to marry, and even have choice in the selection of a mate. But I do not read about this concept of “soul mates.”

Is there danger in this thinking? Yes, I do believe so. Consider this scenario: Peter and Wendy are married. They have been married a few years. The marriage doesn’t seem to have the romantic spark it once had. The marriage also has certain struggles and difficulties (which all marriages have from time to time).

Wendy believes in this “soul mate” concept. She begins to think this could not possibly be my soul mate. This is work and not always roses and fun. Thus she leaves Peter in search of that one person that was created for her. She thinks she finds him. His name is Tom. She marries him. Friends warned her what the Bible teaches about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. She didn’t listen because in her mind she never was intended to be married to Peter. He was not her intended mate. She had married Peter, but in God’s plans she really should have married Tom. Wendy, in her mind, is now simply doing what God has always desired.

A few months go by. Marriage with Tom is more difficult than she thought. Bills must be paid. The house needs cleaning. Food must be prepared. This is not how she thought it would be. Maybe Tom isn’t her “soul mate.” But he is out there somewhere. Wendy is going to keep looking.

Folks, marriages don’t just work. They must be worked on, effort is required. All is not romance, dining, vacations, and going out. There is also rearing of children, going to work to earn a paycheck, housework, dealing with differences, working through arguments, sickness, and disease, and life’s struggles in general. Many marriages fail due to unrealistic expectations.

Be selective in choosing a mate. However, God never designed one person for you, so that if you find him/her there will be no problems. Even Adam and Eve had difficulties in their life together. Work at your marriage. It is worth the investment!

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