You’ve heard the term “soul mates.” What is the meaning of this term? Many people use this term to refer to a couple intended by God to be together, created one for another. The idea is that there is only one person out there with whom you were designed to be.

Is this thinking Biblical? I do read that Eve was made for Adam (Genesis 2:18-ff). This is the only example of a man and woman created one for another, that I read of in the Bible. I don’t deny that God’s providence can bring certain ones together. However, the general teachings of the Bible present a different view when compared with this “soul mate” concept. The unmarried daughters of Zelophehad were at liberty to “marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father…” (Numbers 36:6). Widows are told that, “She is at liberty to marry to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinth 7:39). Then, Paul goes on to say, “But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment…” (1 Corinth 7:40), that is if she chooses to remain unmarried such is fine, and in fact, may be better due to the present distress (1 Corinth 7:26). I do read that man and woman have a choice to marry or not to marry, and even have choice in the selection of a mate. But I do not read about this concept of “soul mates.”

Is there danger in this thinking? Yes, I do believe so. Consider this scenario: Peter and Wendy are married. They have been married a few years. The marriage doesn’t seem to have the romantic spark it once had. The marriage also has certain struggles and difficulties (which all marriages have from time to time).

Wendy believes in this “soul mate” concept. She begins to think this could not possibly be my soul mate. This is work and not always roses and fun. Thus she leaves Peter in search of that one person that was created for her. She thinks she finds him. His name is Tom. She marries him. Friends warned her what the Bible teaches about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. She didn’t listen because in her mind she never was intended to be married to Peter. He was not her intended mate. She had married Peter, but in God’s plans she really should have married Tom. Wendy, in her mind, is now simply doing what God has always desired.

A few months go by. Marriage with Tom is more difficult than she thought. Bills must be paid. The house needs cleaning. Food must be prepared. This is not how she thought it would be. Maybe Tom isn’t her “soul mate.” But he is out there somewhere. Wendy is going to keep looking.

Folks, marriages don’t just work. They must be worked on, effort is required. All is not romance, dining, vacations, and going out. There is also rearing of children, going to work to earn a paycheck, housework, dealing with differences, working through arguments, sickness, and disease, and life’s struggles in general. Many marriages fail due to unrealistic expectations.

Be selective in choosing a mate. However, God never designed one person for you, so that if you find him/her there will be no problems. Even Adam and Eve had difficulties in their life together. Work at your marriage. It is worth the investment!