Parables: Service

Posted on August 6, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

“It is high time that the ideal of success should be replaced by the ideal of service.” ~Albert Einstein

“The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule…” ~Albert Einstein

” I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I awoke and saw life is all service. I served and saw service is joy.” ~Khalil Gibran

Let us consider two parables that we will classify as “service” parables.  Let us notice…

The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37)

The setting (10:25-29): A lawyer asked Jesus, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”  The question may have not been sincere for it says that he did this to test him.  Jesus answered the question by saying that the requirements may be summed up in two points: (1) Love God; (2) Love your neighbor (your fellow-man).   Keep in mind that man demonstrates his live for God by keeping His commandments (John 14:15, 21, 23; 1 John 2:4; 5:3), and one demonstrates his love for man by keeping the commandments (Romans 13:8-10; 1 John 5:2; 2 John 5-6).

The lawyer then replied, “Who is my neighbor?”  Does this include non-Israelites?

The Parable (10:30-37): A traveling man is in trouble.  He has been robbed.  The robbers took even his clothes.  He was wounded.  His wounds are serious.  He is “half-dead”.

A priest traveling that same road comes upon him, sees him, but passes without helping.  Next, a Levite comes, looks, but he too passes on without helping.  Perhaps, they were in a hurry.  Perhaps they did not want to get involved, or even feared getting involved.  Perhaps, they didn’t want to risk getting blood on their garments.  Why they passed by, we are not told.  We are only told that they did pass.

Finally, a Samaritan stops.  He treats the man’s wounds.  He transports him to an inn and cares for him that day.  The next day, he departs, first instructing the innkeeper, “take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again I will repay you.”

Jesus asks, “Which of the three was a neighbor?”  The lawyer answered, “he who showed mercy.”  Jesus instructs, “Go and do likewise.”

The application:(1) The idea of love and responsibility should not be limited to nationality or ethnicity.  (2) We should show compassion to those in need.

Consider the following passages – Hosea 6:6, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.”  Micah 6:8, “He has shown you, O man what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”  Matthew 25:40, “Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to me.”  James 2:13, “Judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy.  Mercy triumphs over judgments.”

One last point, Margaret Thatcher once said, “No one would have remembered the Good Samaritan if he hadn’t any money” (Dave Ramsey, Total Money Makeover, p. 13).  While this may not be entirely true, it is true that money can be used to show kindness (1 Timothy 6:17-19).  Money itself is not evil.  It is a tool with which one can do great good.

The Unprofitable Servant (Luke 17:7-10)

The setting (17:5-6): The audience is the apostles.  Jesus has told them that if they had faith as a mustard seed they could do great things.  T. Pierce Brown has written, “It is my judgment that most commentaries do not do justice to the lesson Jesus is trying to teach.  The ones I remember say something like this ‘The grain of mustard seed is small.  If you just had a small amount of faith, you could do great things… Jesus already admits that they had a little faith (Matthew 8:26; 14:31; 17:20)… It is not the size of the faith that he is emphasizing, but the nature or quality of the faith… Now how big is a grain of mustard seed?  Well, it is small, but that is not the important point… The important thing is that the mustard seed does have power to appropriate God’s gifts… The point is… They needed on active operative faith.  If a grain of mustard seed is dead, it does not matter whether it is small or large, it will produce nothing.  But if a grain of mustard seed is alive, active, and appropriating the gifts of rain, sunshine and earth it will produce greatly.  So it is with our faith.” (Article: How Much Faith Do You Need?).  If their faith were alive, then they would grow and accomplish great things.

The Parable (17:7-10): It is easy for us to think that we’ve done something great when we serve God and do good to our fellow-man.  It is easy to become puffed-up, arrogant and haughty over the work which we’ve done (Luke 10:17 cf. 10:19-20; 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 cf. 4:6-7).  This parable is set forth to caution against such thinking.  “When you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants.  We have done what was our duty to do.’”  Note: The word “unprofitable” does not mean in context “useless.”  It means – having rendered no service beyond what was due.

The Application: (1) We are to “maintain good works” (Titus 3:8, 14).  We are to do this while serving our Master.  (2) Yet, we cannot do works of supererogation.  We can never do more than our duty.  We live as His servants.  We should humbly say, “We have done what was our duty to do.”

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Parables: Concern for the Lost

Posted on August 4, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

“Rescue the perishing, care for the dying, snatch them in pity from sin and the grave.”  – Fannie Crosby

“Lead me to some soul today; O teach me, Lord, just what to say; Friends of mine are lost in sin, and cannot find their way.”  -Will Houghton

“The Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost” (Luke 19:10).

“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.”  (Galatians 6:1).

“Brethren if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.” (James 5:19-20).

Jesus set forth three parables that we will classify as ‘Concern for the Lost” parables.  Let’s notice…

The Lost Sheep (Luke 15:4-7)

The setting (15:1-3): The Pharisees and Scribes could not understand why Jesus would spend time with sinners.  This was not the first time such troubled them (cf. 5:29-32).

The Parable (15:4-7): If a shepherd lost one of his sheep, wouldn’t he search for it?  Wouldn’t he rejoice, if he found it and was able to bring it home?  This is an argument from the lesser to the greater.  If one would do such for a sheep, what about a man?  Isn’t a man’s soul worth far more than a sheep?  (cf. 13:15-16; 14:1-5).

The Application: (1) The immediate application is that this explains why Jesus spent time with sinners.  He came “to seek and to save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10). (2) The secondary application is that we too should be concerned for the lost (cf. Galatians 6:1; James 5:19-20).  J.W. McGarvey has written, “What can be the meaning of this parable, unless… faithful brethren is to go and hunt up, and try to win back, the wanderer?… If a congregation were assembled on the Lord’s day for worship, and the elders, upon looking over their faces, were to miss one, and ascertain that he was absent in some gay company, or at home in an ill-humor, or about to start out for the day on a pleasure excursion, would they be pressing the teaching of this parable too far, should one of the immediately leave the house of God, and go bring in that person?  How much joy it would create among the saints on earth, and among the angels in heaven, if such a thing were done successfully and often; should anyone, however, be unwilling to press the analogy to this extent, he must still admit that the nearest possible approach to this degree of vigilance can alone meet fully the demands of the shepherd’s duty” (The Eldership, p. 34-35).

The Lost Coin (Luke 15:8-10)

The setting (15:1-3):  This is the same context as the previous parable.  Jesus ate and associated with all types of people: (1) Pharisees (7:36-50; 11:37-44; 14:1-4); (2) Publicans and sinners (5:29-30; 15:1-2; 19:1-ff).  He explained, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance” (5:31-32).

The parable (15:8-10): If a woman lost a silver coin, wouldn’t she make an effort to find it?  Wouldn’t she rejoice, if she did find it?  Neil Lightfoot makes this comment, “Some scholars have suggested that in this case the coin was especially valuable to the woman since it formed an ornament for her head.  It was customary for Jewish women to save up 10 coins and string them together for a necklace or hairdress.  The ornament became a treasured possession worn as a sign of a married woman, very much like a wedding band is worn today.”  (The Parables of Jesus, Part II).  Wayne Jackson also comments, “Silver coins, which were commonly worn as ornaments by near-eastern women, were highly valued, frequently being handed down from mother to daughter” (The Parables in Profile, pp. 42-43).

The Application: (1) Jesus cares about the lost.  “There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (15:10).  (2) We too should care.  “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

The Lost Son (Luke 15:11-32)

The setting (15:1-3): The context is the same as the two previous parables.

The parable (15:11-32): The parable is of a lost son and a father’s love.  In the words of George Strait’s song, “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then.  It’s a love without end, amen.”

There is a difference between this parable and the two previous.  In the case of the Lost Sheep there was a search and rescue.  Sheep are near-sighted.  It is very easy for them to wander off and not be able to find their way back home.  In the case of the lost coin there was a search and find.  The coin did not know it was lost.  However, with the lost son, there is no search.  The father knew where the son was.  He was where he was by choice, and he knew the way home.  It would have done no good to hog-tie him and bring him home.  The son needed to come to himself, and decide that he wanted to return.

The Application: (1) God is ready and willing to receive the sinner who repents.  (2) The real emphasis is upon the elder son, who was not ready to receive the sinner back home.  The father told the elder son, “It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found” (15:32).

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Parables: Forgiveness

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

“He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.” – Thomas Fuller

“Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury.” – E.H. Chapin

Jesus set forth two parables that we will classify as Forgiveness Parables.  Let’s notice:

The Two Debtors (Luke 7:40-47)

The setting (7:36-39): Jesus is a guest for dinner at Simon’s house.  Simon is a Pharisee.  A woman of sinful reputation comes to Jesus and begins to wash his feet with her tears, and wipe them with her hair, and anoint them with fragrant oil.  Simon wonders how Jesus, if he be a prophet of God, would allow such a woman near Him.

The Parable (7:40-43): Jesus’ parable speaks of human tendency.  Generally speaking, the larger the debt forgiven, the more gratitude.  Simon understands this.

The Application (7:44-47): “Simon, you have misjudged this woman.  Yes, she has had a sinful past, but she has been forgiven.  It is for this reason she honors Me.”  Wayne Jackson commented on verse 47, “Perfect tense – an act in the past with abiding results.  The Lord was not forgiving her sins at this point in time, rather he was stating what her present condition was.  This woman had obviously received the Savior’s pardon on some previous but unrecorded occasion” (The Parables in Profile, p. 53).  J.W. McGarvey commented, “Her love was the result, and not the cause, of her forgiveness” (The Four Fold Gospel, p. 295).

The truth is none of us can pay for our sins (7:42).  This woman grasped how much she needed the Savior.  Simon failed to grasp this point (cf. Luke 18:10-14).  Do we grasp how lost we would be without the Savior?  How appreciative we should be!

The Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:23-35)

The setting (18:21-22): Peter want to know how many times one is required to forgive.  He asks, “Up to seven times?”  Some Jewish rabbis taught that one was required to forgive up to three times, based on Amos 1:3, 6, 13; 2:6.    The idea of seven times may have come from Peter’s literalizing Jesus’ teachings (Luke 17:3-4).  Jesus answers by throwing out a large number (seventy times seven) to say in effect, “Peter, you are not even close.”

The Parable (18:23-35): Two men are considered.  One owed the King a very large debt (10,000 talents, the E.S.V. Study Bible calculates this at about $6 billion).  The man could not repay the debt.  However, the King forgave him.  The other man owed the first man a debt (100 denarii, the E.S.V. Study Bible calculates this at about $12,000 in today’s terms).  The first man, unlike the King, refuses to forgive the debt, but committed him to debtors prison.  When the King heard of this, he reinstated the debt of the first man.

The Application: God has greatly forgiven us.  How can we refuse to forgive others. The truth is – our forgiveness will be forfeited if we refuse to forgive others.  As the King did to the unmerciful servant, Jesus said – “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses (18:35).  Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).  Moreover, he warned, “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15).

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The Queen of the South and the Men of Nineveh

Posted on July 31, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

“The Queen of the South will rise up in judgment with the men of this generation and condemn them, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and indeed a greater than Solomon is here.  The men of Nineveh will rise up in the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for the repented at the preaching of Jonah; and indeed a greater than Jonah is here.”  (Luke 11:31, 32).

1.  The Effort of the Queen…

  Many scholars inform us that Sheba was more than 1000 miles away from Jerusalem.  It must have been a great distance, because Luke 11:31 says that she came from the “ends of the earth”.  She travelled that great distance to hear the wisdom of Solomon.  Yet, how many in this generation fail to even lift the Bible off the coffee table to feed daily from the wisdom of God?  How many in this generation use the excuse, “It’s just too much trouble to go to worship services today?”

2.  The Test of the Queen…

She had heard of Solomon’s wisdom as his fame spread (1 Kings 10:1-3 cf. 1 Kings 9:25-28; 10:22-25).  But she did not blindly accept what others told her.  She tested him, “with hard questions” (1 Kings 10:1).  She came away impressed, saying, “It was a true report which I heard in my own land about your words and your wisdom.  However, I did not believe the words until I came and saw with my own eyes: and indeed the half was not told me.  Your wisdom and prosperity exceed the fame of which I heard” (1 Kings 10:6-7).  Yet, how many of this generation are happy to accept what another says concerning a religious matter without investigation?  The Bible says, “Test all things; hold fast what is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).  It warns, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1).  We should be as those Bereans who, “received the word with all readiness, and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these thing were so” (Acts 17:11).

3.  The Change of the People of Nineveh…

They repented (Luke 11:31).  It should be understood that repentance produces a change of behavior.  Consider what it says occurred in Nineveh, “So the people of Nineveh believed God, proclaimed a fast, put on sackcloth, from the greatest to the least of them.  Then the word came to the King of Nineveh; and he arose from his throne and laid aside his robe, covered himself with sackcloth and sat in ashes.  And he caused it to be proclaimed and published throughout Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, ‘let neither man nor beast, heard or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat, or drink water.  But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily to God; yes, let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands'”(Jonah 3:5-8).  Then, we’re told, “God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God relented from the disaster that he said he would bring upon them and did not do it” (Jonah 3:10).  Luke’s account calls this repentance!

4.  The Reception of the Message Despite the Messenger…

They “repented at (eis – literally ‘into’) the preaching of Jonah.”  (Luke 11:32).  The meaning is that they conformed themselves to what Jonah preached.  Now get this, Jonah hated them.  He did not want to preach to them (Jonah 1:1-3).  He did not want them to be saved (Jonah 4:1-3).  Even so, they were honest enough – that when they heard the truth, they were ready to accept it as truth, without regard to who said it.  Yet, how many of this generation allow some perceived ‘ungodly’ or ‘unkind’  preacher to cause them to reject God’s truth?   Alas, some reject the message due to the messenger.  How many have said, “I’ll never come back because the preacher did not shake my hand?”  Such likely was an oversight.  This article is not to excuse rude behavior or bad attitudes… but the excuses of some!  The good and honest heart will accept the truth regardless of who the messenger happens to be (Even if he be Jonah).

These two examples should serve to remind us of the love we should have for the truth (Romans 15:4). Remember,  It is the truth and only the truth that will make us free (John 8:32).

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This Coming School Year

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

Did you know that the term “school,” as used for a place of learning, is derived from the Greek “schole,” which means “leisure”? It seems that the Greek mind so closely connected the concept of leisure with the pursuit of learning, and self-improvement, that they could hardly think of one without the other. Note: “School” as we are using it does not come from the same source as “school” of fish. This “school” is derived from the Old English “scolu,” which means “multitude”. So much for our trivia lesson.

It will not be long until the start of yet another school year. Perhaps, you have already stocked-up on your supplies, purchased required material, and bought new school clothes.

Here are some things to remember this school year –

  1. Begin each day with prayer and Bible reading (Psalm 119:147-148; Mark 1:35).
  2. Be an example to others “in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).
  3. Test all that you are taught with the word of God (1 Thessalonians 5:21; Psalm 119:99).
  4. Be selective with your friendship. Choose those with good character for your friends (Psalm 119:63; Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 27:17). Avoid those of bad influence (Psalm 119:115; Proverbs 1:10-15; Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 22:24-25; 1 Corinthians 15:33).
  5. You will not always be popular, if you are truly a Christian ( Luke 6:26; 2 Timothy 3:12; 1 Pet.er 4:4).
  6. Flee tempting situations (2 Timothy 2:22).
  7. Obey your parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20). Some young people think that their parents are just old and out of touch, and perhaps, other’s parents are not so strict and demanding. Still, obey your parents. Respect their restrictions and requirements.
  8. Live a life dedicated to God (Romans 12:1; Galatians 2:20). Remember that He sees all (Psalm 139; Proverbs 15:3; Ecclesiastes 12:13-14; Mark 12:36-17; Romans 2:16, etc.).
  9. Be kind (Colossians 4:6).

a.  Words are Wonderful Things

– Mrs. E. R. Miller

“Keep a watch on your words, my darling,
For words are wonderful things;

They are sweet like the bees’ fresh honey,
Like the bees they have terrible stings;

They can bless like the warm, glad sunshine,
And brighten a lonely life;

They can cut, in the strife of anger,
Like an open, two-edged knife.”

b.      Rules of Behavior

– unknown

“Hearts, like doors, will open with ease
To very, very little keys
And don’t forget that two of these
Are ‘Thank you sir,’ and ‘If you please’ ”

10.  Learn all that you can. It may help you be a better employee or employer, spouse, parent, and even a better servant of God in the future.

Going to School

– John Martin

“Dear God, a school day comes again,

With many things for me to do.

Please bless my heart and guide my brain

And make me thoughtful, strong, and true.

My lessons may seem dull to me,

And study hours long and dry,

But if you help me, then I’ll see

How fast those useful hours fly.

O God, go forth with me today,

And help my head and guide my hand,

For You are wise and know the way

To make me learn and understand

Open my heart and eyes to see

How kind is every study hour;

For each one offers gifts to me

Like wisdom, patience, love, and power.

                                                Amen”

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In The News: China’s New Parental Law

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

USA Today reported on December 28, 2012 of a new law in China, saying, “Beijing – visit your parents.  That’s an order.  So says China, whose national legislature on Friday amended its laws on the elderly to require that adult children visit their aging parents ‘often’ – or risk being sued by them.  The amendment does not specify how frequently such visits should occur… The move comes as reports abound of elderly parents being abandoned or ignored by their children… Three decades of market changes have accelerated the breakup of the traditional extended family in China.”

CNN reported on July 2, 2013, “On Tuesday Xinhua reported that a 77-year-old woman from Jiangsu City of Wuxi sued her daughter for neglecting her.  In the first case after the new law came into effect, the local court ruled that her daughter must visit twice a month and provide financial support.”

The rationale for the law is that about 25% of China’s elderly live in poverty (asiahealthcareblog).  It is thought that adult children should be helping their parents.

Regardless of what you think of China’s new law, shouldn’t children care for their parents?  Consider –

Proverbs 23:22, “Do not despise your mother when she is old.”

Matthew 15:5-6, “Whoever says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God’ – Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.”

Ephesians 6:2, “Honor your father and mother.”

1 Timothy 5:4, “If any widow has children or grandchildren, let them show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.”

1 Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

1 Timothy 5:16, “If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”

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Ceasing Our Work to Fight

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

In Nehemiah 4:17 we read, “They which builded on the wall, and they that bear burdens, with those that laden, everyone with one of his hands wrought in the work, and with the other hand-held a weapon.”

I have met some brethren, that are great and zealous fighters of error and defenders of truth.  Men, who get excited and passionate in this endeavor.  Men, who will speak out boldly against “liberalism” and “anti-ism.”  Men, who are ready to share with you, every time  you speak with them, the latest false doctrine that “brother heretic” is now propagating.  Furthermore, as they’re telling you these things, you can almost see the gleam in their eyes.

Yet, some of those same men I’ve met, never have the same zeal and passion about soul-winning.  Rarely do they teach the lost.  They do not conduct personal Bible studies.  They knock no doors.  They send out no Bible correspondence courses.  They may have a computer, but never use it to reach the non-Christian.  They make no phone calls to invite and urge others to attend.  They are inwardly focused.  In fact, so much so, they cannot see the fields that are “white already to harvest” (John 4:35).  They are so consumed with what they are against, it is most difficult to determine what they are actually for.

But, from looking at Nehemiah 4:17, it becomes clear that those of old weren’t so consumed with being warriors that they ceased to be builders.  Neither, should we be, for if we are, the opposition and the devil wins (cf. Nehemiah 4:11).  There are too many that need to hear the truth, for us to spend all our time upon error.

Do we need to expose error?  Yes! (Ephesians 5:11; 2 Timothy 2:17-18, etc.).  Should we spend all our time on it?  Absolutely not!  Consider Jesus.  Did He expose the errors of the religious leaders of His day?  Yes.  But, is that all that He did?  No.  He came to “seek and save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10).  Isn’t that our mission as well? (Matthew 28:18-20; 1 Peter 2:9, 12).  Let us warn brethren; But, let us not spend all our limited time on these “change agents.”

Let us remember that we, as Christians, are to positively stand for The Good News, and not just against the bad.

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Why Don’t We Show Appreciation Here and Now?

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

When did Israel express appreciation for Moses?  When he died (Deuteronomy 34:7-8).  Not much appreciation was expressed before then, and when they did recognize how great a man he was, it was bit too late to do him any good.

Next, think of Absalom. I realize that Absalom was in many ways a wicked man, but let’s ask the question, when did David show his love and concern for Absalom?  Wasn’t it when he died (2 Samuel 18:32-33) and not while he lived (2 Samuel 14:24, 28). How sad!

Think of the many great men and women of the Faith.  The faithful member is often taken for granted until gone.  The faithful preacher, teacher, or elder may never receive accolades until gone, and then he is spoken of with fondness.

Even our family members at times, we do not thank for the various things they do until gone – and then we eulogize them.  And we think of what we should have said while they were living, how we should have told them that we appreciate them.

Brethren, let us realize that we each may not be with each other tomorrow (James 4:14).  Let us show our appreciation and love toward another in this life (Philippians 2:29-30; 1 Thessalonians 5:13; 1 Timothy 5:17; 1 Peter 2:17).  Let us take nothing for granted, but let us show our appreciation, and thankfulness (Luke 17:17).  Such could be a great encouragement for them to keep on!

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For Husbands and Wives to Consider

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

In reading Ruth 3:1-3, something interesting can be observed in how men and women treat one another before marriage.  Naomi is trying to get Ruth a husband.  Boaz is the man in the sights.  Therefore, Naomi gives counsel how Ruth might win the heart of this man, Boaz.  Her advice is this: “Wash thyself (that is, take a bath, clean yourself up – B.H.)… anoint thee (that is, put on some perfume, try to smell your best – B.H.)… put thy raiment upon thee (that is, dress nice, dress to impress, put on your best dress – B.H.)… make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking (the way unto a man’s heart is through is stomach, make sure he eats before you approach him, he’ll be more receptive – B.H.).

Didn’t we do similarly when dating our prospective mates?  Didn’t we try to look nice?  Didn’t we dine our dates and feed them well?  Didn’t we, men, open the door of the car?  Didn’t we do all that we could to win them over?

What happened?  Women, who would once never want their prospective husbands to see them without their hair being done, now go around the house not dressed well.  Men, who once kept themselves fit, now allow themselves to become unhealthy looking and overweight.  Women, who once cooked their best for their man, now habitually serve fast food and TV dinners, if they cook at all.  Men, who used to say, “I love you,” or “You look beautiful,” now haven’t a kind word to say and are never complimentary of their wife.  Men, who used to take their prospective wife out on a date, now haven’t the time or the gumption to do so. They just want to stay home and watch ESPN… and we wonder why love dies.

Brethren, a good rule of thumb is: however much effort it took to make him or her happy before marriage, it will likely take the same after marriage.  Women (and men) should strive to dress attractively (Proverbs 31:22).  They should speak words of kindness to one another (Proverbs 31:26, 28; Proverbs 18:24a).  Instead of wanting to be served, we should serve one another (Matthew 7:12; 23:11; Ephesians 5:25ff).  We should talk and especially listen one to another (James 1:19).  Remember how you used to hang on his or her every word, listening intently (cf.Song of Solomon 4:11).  We should complement one another (Proverbs 31:28).  We should remember that God has given us a wonderful body (Psalm 139:14), and we should take care of it (Ephesians 5:28-29; Proverbs 25:16).  God didn’t say that bodily exercise profited nothing (1 Timothy 4:8).  Women should work in the home (Titus 2:5), striving to make the home an attractive place to be.

My friends, if we would show our spouses the respect we did prior to marriage – if we would strive to win each other again, serving one another, instead of seeking to be served – then much marital difficulty could be undone, and perhaps avoided!

ENDNOTE: The thoughts for this article were prompted by some good words that brother Wayne Cox said during the 13th Annual “Seek the Old Paths” lectureship while commenting on Ruth 3.

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Take the Lead

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Bryan Hodge

“Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another” (Romans 12:10, KJV).

“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (NKJV).

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; giving preference to one another in honor” (NASB).

“Love one another with brotherly affection.  Outdo one another in showing honor” (ESV). 

It is not uncommon for this to be misunderstood.  Some have understood it to mean that Christians should prefer other Christians as friends (cf. Proverbs 13:20; 1 Corinthians 15:33).  Some have taken this to mean that Christians should do business with other Christians when possible (cf. Galatians 6:10).  The word “preferring” or “preference” is what gives so many difficulty.

The original word means “‘To go before and lead’ used in Romans 12:10 in the sense of taking the lead in showing deference one to another” (Vine’s); “To go before and show the way, to go before and lead, to go before as a leader… one going before another as an example” (Thayer); “to go before and show the way” (B-A-G).

Here is what some commentators have said: Foy E. Wallace Jr., “…’preferring’ here it means leading one another on in honorable things.  Inducing – promoting – exemplifying honor” (Wallace, Commentary on Romans, Galatians, Ephesians, p. 58).  J.W. Shepherd, “Instead of waiting around for others to honor us, we should lead them in the manifestation of esteem and respect” (Libscomb and Shepherd, A Commentary on Romans, p. 226).    J.W. McGarvey, “In matters of giving respect and causing people to be held in high public estimation, Christians are to strive to outdo each other.  The idea is that each should be more eager to confer honors than to obtain them” (McGarvey, Thessalonians, Corinthians, Galatians, Romans, p. 498).  Roy Deaver, “The point is, in having an attitude of love and respect and high esteem for others, Christians ought to be examples to each other” (Deaver, Romans: God’s Plan For Man’s Righteousness, p.476).

Sometimes, we are prone to say, “I’ll treat him kindly, when he shows me some kindness.”  Thus, we wait for the other to make the first move.

Romans 12:10 is teaching that we should be setting the example.  Instead, of waiting around for others to show kindness, love, or honor – we should take initiative to demonstrate such.  We should seek to set the spiritual pace.

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